Ephesians 5

 

Scripture: Ephesians 5:21 As a general guideline, let’s subject ourselves to one another in the way that Jesus did to His Father, just as He asks us to do to Him.

 

Title: I am free to serve everyone.

 

We began the study of Ephesians long before Covid 19 hit our world. If we remember, the first three chapters of Ephesians talk about the theological implications of Jesus, the Messiah from God. The second three chapters discuss the practical ideas about living the life of a follower of Jesus.

 

The working title of the series we are looking at is “Walking In Christ. Changing from Old to New.” Or a secondary title might be, “Learning to hear the Holy Spirit when he speaks to us.” Over the course of many weeks, we talked about twenty-three different ideas the Spirit might be encouraging us to do as we follow Jesus.

 

The 24^th idea encourages us to be subject to one another and that is our topic for this message. The main controversial passage of this section seems to be the instructions to the wives. However, I do not believe that Paul ever intended these to be instructions to husbands and wives but to be examples of what happens when we do serve one another.

 

The poor interpretation of these verses over the years has caused untold grief for women as men have been encouraged by the church to misuse this passage and abuse their wives and in general women.

 

Paul is not talking about the relationship between men and women but is using the relationship that should exist to be an example to all of us as to how we ought to be servants of others. In the way Jesus submitted to His Father in heaven, we should all learn to live by His example and serve each other. As Jesus serves the Father, the church serves Jesus, and we as followers of Jesus serve others, being willing to wash one another's feet. We have experience in doing this because we serve our spouses, and we serve our children, and we serve our employers.

 

Actually, we do not do this very well, but we need to learn how to see every relationship as an opportunity to serve others in the same way we would like to serve Jesus.

 

We might aske the question, “What does it take to serve?” The obvious answer is, “To love someone enough to honor their wishes.”

 

Service is not a one-way street. It is important to assert our views into the conversation as we seek a solution but without both parties stating what they really would like to see as an outcome we cannot proceed to finding a solution. If we assert our opinion but do not listen to anyone else, we seek to do things “my way.” If we do not assert our opinion and let others have “Their way” we are just accommodating them. If we choose not to assert our way and are not interested in what is good for them, we just avoid the issue altogether. It is only as we assert and allow the other person to express their opinion as well that we actually seek to find a solution that we collaborate with one another and find a wonderful solution. Sometimes we end up with a solution that is a compromise, which allows both people to get something they would like but not everything. At least that is better than no collaborating at all.

 

This leads us to a question about how we might honor another person. We honor them by learning enough about them to know what they like, what they dislike, and what they dream about. If I strive to do the things they like, avoid those things they dislike, and help to make their dreams come true then I am honoring them.

 

Another way I honor other people is to allow them to be who they are and not expect them to fit into my mold. I can always give them an understanding of my opinion of what they might be doing, but when the choice has to be made, it is their choice to make. I need to give them that freedom and be willing to accept their choice.

A third way we honor other people is to give, serve, them without any condition or expectation of them reciprocating to us something in return. If I give with the hope or expectation to get something in return, I am manipulating you rather than giving to you. Giving honors the other person when there are no strings attached to the gift, whether a gift of money, time, talents, etc.

 

The call from Paul is not for me to force another person to submit to me, but for me to learn what submission means between humans so I can more readily serve my Master in Heaven.

 

With all of that in mind, let me read my version of Ephesians 5 and 6, beginning with 5:21 where Paul introduces this 24^th idea of the Spirit will lead us to follow Jesus’ ways more completely.

 

The encouragement is to submit to others, and he offers three pairs of examples: wives and husbands, children and parents, and employees and employers.

 

21 As a general guideline, let’s subject ourselves to one another in the way that Jesus did to His Father, just as He asks us to do to Him. 22 An example would be the husband-wife relationship. As wives we need to serve our husbands in the same way we serve Jesus. 23 Since Jesus is the head of the church and He is also the Savior of the body, 24 and we serve Him. In that same way, as wives, we are encouraged to serve our husband. 25 And the husband has the same encouragement to love his wife, in the same way that Jesus loved the church, enough to give Himself for her benefit. 26 By dying, Jesus cleansed the church with His Word. 27 His goal was to set apart the church for Himself so that we would not have any part of our lives that were unclean. We are completely forgiven; He has rendered us holy and without fault. 

 

Paul said the same thing in his letter to the Philippians when he said we should seek to see others as more important than ourselves. Our wives are included in that word “others.”

 

When Paul talks about Jesus and the church, we see that He, by example, does not lord it over us, but instead serves us. In the same way husbands and wives are encouraged to serve each other. He goes on to talk about a person not loving their own body, and in the same way ought to love their spouse.

 

28 Another way to look at serving wives is for husbands to take as good of care of their wife as they do their own body. If we love our own bodies, we need to take the same care in loving our spouse. 29 People take care of the needs of their bodies, and in the same way Jesus cares for His church, 30 and by extension He takes care of us because we are members of His body. 31 The Word says, “A Man needs to leave his parents when he marries his wife, and consequently establish a deep bond with her and she to him.” 32 I am a bit off track, I know, this is a mysterious subject, but I am talking about Jesus and the church being for us an example of how the husband ought to love his wife.

33 Summing this up, the husband and wife need to have a life of mutual submission and respect for each other.  

 

Eph 6

1 Talking about mutual service to others, let’s talk about parents and children. Children serve their parents and parents serve their children. 2 The commandment that says, “Give honor to your parents,” also has a promise with it, 3 “Honoring parents gives a person a prosperous and long life.” 4 I want to caution the parents, do not just demand your children love and obey you. Earn that respect from them. They will not have any respect for you if you continually make them angry because you forget to demonstrate your love for them and care for them in the ways that Jesus has taught you to serve.

 

5 Again, employees, a right attitude is for us to be obedient to our employers and serve them with a deep concern to do the right thing by them. 6 There should be no difference between our serving humans and the way we serve Jesus our Lord. 7 Don't just give them token obedience but act like the servants of Christ we are and serve them from the depths of our hearts. 8 Give our service to Jesus more than to our employers, remembering that when we do good things here on earth, we will receive good things back from Jesus.  

9 And, employers, do these same things to your employees. Stop threatening your employees, you both have the same Master in heaven, and He does not distinguish between employers and employees.

 

In some homes, children are forced into submission by the parents who demand that behavior has to be a certain way. The children become slaves of the parents and begin to resent the way they are treated. This is a responsibility of the parent to make sure this does not happen. The role of parent is to lovingly and gently raise up the children to learn the benefits of service to others. This is only done well by the children seeing the example of how their parents treat and talk about one another and the people they encounter. A parent cannot teach one thing to the children and do the opposite in the way they live. This will send a mixed message and the child will become more and more resentful and angry. Parents ought not provoke their children to anger.

 

Slaves in the New Testament times are very similar to employees in our day and age. The employee who desires to follow Jesus has the task of helping their employer prosper in every way they can. And the employer is instructed to treat the employee without demand but with service in the same way that Jesus serves them.

 

So, this brings us back to the question, “What does it take to serve?” To love someone enough to honor their wishes.

 

And “How do I honor another person?”

 

I learn enough about them to know what they like, dislike, and dream about and then I strive to help them move in that direction.

 

“How do I honor another person?”

 

I allow them to be who they are. I tell them what is important to me and then leave them to respond in love in their own time.

 

“How do I honor another person?”

 

I give to them without condition, without a need for reciprocation from them to validate my giving. This is God’s free gift to me, Jesus died on the cross “while I was still a sinner.”

 

The call of Jesus through the words of Paul is not for me to force you to submit to my wishes, but for me to learn what submission means between humans so I can more readily serve my Master in Heaven who is Jesus, My everlasting Lord.

 

 

Pastor Edd Breeden